If that doesn't work, science brings you that'll actually make your farts smell like chocolate or, better yet, roses.
The average human being farts 14 times a day.
There are at least 60 apps for the iPhone that recreate farting noises.
Research proves that sniffing small amounts of hydrogen sulphide can reverse mitochondrial damage and help avert strokes, dementia, cancer, and heart attacks.
Some beetles, namely the female Southern Pine Beetles fart to attract mates.
There are in fact also a host of natural remedies that are proven to diminish the assault of flatulence, including peppermint, ginger, yogurt and cardamom.