Labial hypertrophy can make cleansing difficult or uncomfortable, and may ultimately lead to infection.
Try to get a dilator similar to the size of the man.
Another option: Check out feminist porn sites like and , which are known for showing a wider variety of body types.
Every male is a unique person; it is okay if your penis is not the same size as the average! When will I be able to do that? There can be variations in labia width, length, and color.
So no two outies are the same.
Although this might sound extreme, the truth is, the degree to which a vaginal lip is hanging loosely varies among women.